LION CAT

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Lion cat

#cat #animal #funny #yawn #yawning #lie #lying #bored #tired #angry #lion #mad #yellow #animals #feature #activities #emotion #color

New jokes

Adele
Q: Why did Adele cross the road? A: To sing, "Hello from the other side!"

Beans
A teacher asked her students to use the word "beans" in a sentence. "My father grows beans," said one girl. "My mother cooks beans," said a boy. A third student spoke up, "We are all human beans."

Cheap hotels
Q: What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common? A: No ballroom.

Get married
On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple is involved in a fatal car accident. The couple found themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting, they began to wonder: Could they possibly get married in Heaven? When St. Peter showed up, they asked him. St. Peter said, "I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out,'" and he left. The couple sat and waited, and waited. Two months passed and the couple were still waiting. While waiting, they began to wonder what would happen if it didn't work out; could you get a divorce in heaven? After yet another month, St. Peter finally returned, looking somewhat bedraggled. "Yes," he informed the couple, "You can get married in Heaven." "Great!" said the couple, "But we were just wondering, what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?" St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slammed his clipboard onto the ground. "What's wrong?" asked the frightened couple. "OH, COME ON!," St. Peter shouted, "It took me three months to find a priest up here! Do you have any idea how long it'll take me to find a lawyer?"

School
Mother: "How was school today, Patrick?" Patrick: "It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!" Mother: "Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?" Patrick: "What school?"

Hamburgers
Q: Why do hamburgers go to the gym A: To get better buns!

Snowman and vampire
What do get if you cross a Snowman with a Vampire? Frostbite.

Harry Potter
Q: How does Albus get into Hogwarts? A: Through the Dumble-door.