Lion is walking
Why isn't the turkey hungry at Thanksgiving? Because he's already stuffed!
How is Christmas like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.
Q: What is a mummy's favorite type of music? A: Wrap!
Snowman and vampire
What do get if you cross a Snowman with a Vampire? Frostbite.
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."
Q: Why is Santa Claus' sack so big? A: He only comes once a year.
Elves in school
Q: What do elves learn in school? Q: What do elves learn in school? A: The Elfabet.
Q: What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common? A: No ballroom.