Mouse is hiding into wardrobe
Q: Can February march? A: No, but April may.
Why did I get divorced? Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn't wish me a happy birthday. My parents forgot and so did my kids. I went to work and even my colleagues didn't wish me a happy birthday. As I entered my office, my secretary said, "Happy birthday, boss!" I felt so special. She asked me out for lunch. After lunch, she invited me to her apartment. We went there and she said, "Do you mind if I go into the bedroom for a minute?" "Okay," I said. She came out 5 minutes later with a birthday cake, my wife, my parents, my kids, my friends, & my colleagues all yelling, "SURPRISE!!!" while I was waiting on the sofa... naked.
Why isn't the turkey hungry at Thanksgiving? Because he's already stuffed!
Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? A: Envelope.
Don´t be racist
Don't be racist; racism is a crime; and crime is for black people.
Q: Why did the witches' team lose the baseball game? A: Their bats flew away.
Your momma is so short, when she went to meet Santa he said, "Go back to work!"
Q: How does Albus get into Hogwarts? A: Through the Dumble-door.