Mouse is lying
Your momma is so stupid when I told her Christmas is right around the corner she went looking for it.
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.
How were people born
A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."
Q: Why did the witches' team lose the baseball game? A: Their bats flew away.
Q: Can February march? A: No, but April may.
Q: What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common? A: No ballroom.
What is a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross-country.
Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road? A: To get to the body shop.