MAN THROWS THE MOUSES FROM BASKET

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Man throws the mouses from basket

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New jokes

Private investigator
A guy believed that his wife is cheating on him, so he hired a private investigator. The cheapest he could find was a Chinese man. This was the Chinese PI's report about what he found: "Most honorable, sir. You leave house. I watch house. He come to house. I watch. He and she leave house. I follow. He and she go in hotel. I climb tree. I look in window. He kiss she. He strip she. She strip he. He play with she. She play with he. I play with me. I fall out tree. I not see. No fee. Cheng Lee."

Harry Potter
Q: How does Albus get into Hogwarts? A: Through the Dumble-door.

Ghosts as liars
Q: Why are ghosts bad liars? A: You can see right through them.

Unhappy day
There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for a half hour. Then a big trouble making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, & just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry." "No, it's not that," the man replies, wiping his tears, "This day is the worst of my life. First, I oversleep & I go in late to my office. My outraged boss fires me. When I leave the building to go to my car, I find out it was stolen. The police say they can do nothing. I get a cab to go home, & when I get out, I remember I left my wallet. The cab driver just drives away. I go inside my house where I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave my home, come to this bar, & just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up & drink my poison."

Adele
Q: Why did Adele cross the road? A: To sing, "Hello from the other side!"

Fat momma
Your momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."

Elves in school
Q: What do elves learn in school? Q: What do elves learn in school? A: The Elfabet.

Pee in the shower
Q: Who cares if you pee in the shower? A: The bride and all her guests, apparently.