Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.
Your momma is so stupid when I told her Christmas is right around the corner she went looking for it.
Your momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."
How is Christmas like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.
A teacher asked her students to use the word "beans" in a sentence. "My father grows beans," said one girl. "My mother cooks beans," said a boy. A third student spoke up, "We are all human beans."
Q: Why did Adele cross the road? A: To sing, "Hello from the other side!"
Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? A: Envelope.
Q: What does a skeleton order at a restaurant? A: Spare ribs!