SEAL IS LYING

Seal is lying

#animal #white #sleep #sleeping #lie #lying #tired #exhausted #snow #winter #seal #animals #color #activities #emotion #winter

New jokes

Private investigator
A guy believed that his wife is cheating on him, so he hired a private investigator. The cheapest he could find was a Chinese man. This was the Chinese PI's report about what he found: "Most honorable, sir. You leave house. I watch house. He come to house. I watch. He and she leave house. I follow. He and she go in hotel. I climb tree. I look in window. He kiss she. He strip she. She strip he. He play with she. She play with he. I play with me. I fall out tree. I not see. No fee. Cheng Lee."

Fat momma
Your momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."

Kids conversation
Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin." Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night ." Kid 1: "As if." Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister." Kid 1: "I don't have a sister." Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."

Ghosts as liars
Q: Why are ghosts bad liars? A: You can see right through them.

Kangaroo
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.

Mummy´s music
Q: What is a mummy's favorite type of music? A: Wrap!

Google
Q: Is Google male or female? A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.

Elves in school
Q: What do elves learn in school? Q: What do elves learn in school? A: The Elfabet.