Seal is moving on the beach
Why isn't the turkey hungry at Thanksgiving? Because he's already stuffed!
Why is Santa Claus so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
Your momma is so stupid when I told her Christmas is right around the corner she went looking for it.
Cath the train
A man asks a farmer near a field, “Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train.” The farmer says, “Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you’ll even catch the 4:11 one."
Q: Why did Adele cross the road? A: To sing, "Hello from the other side!"
If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get? Missletoe!
What is a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross-country.
Ghosts as liars
Q: Why are ghosts bad liars? A: You can see right through them.