SEAL ON THE STONE

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Seal is watching on the stone

#animal #weird #look #looking #funny #yawn #yawning #lie #lying #bored #shocked #watch #watching #seal #drunk #hypnotized #fat #animals #feature #activities #emotion

New jokes

Google
Q: Is Google male or female? A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.

Santas sack
Q: Why is Santa Claus' sack so big? A: He only comes once a year.

Mummy´s music
Q: What is a mummy's favorite type of music? A: Wrap!

MY WIFE AND I ARE REALLY IN SYNC
If my wife has too much to drink at a party, starts yapping a little too much, I don't have to say anything... three little leg squeezes, she knows that means 'Put a sock in it, drunkie, time for you to wrap it up.' Somebody didn't have dinner like I suggested, now you're spouting off at the mouth divulging all the family secrets. You need to pipe down or we've got to f**king leave.

Harry Potter
Q: How does Albus get into Hogwarts? A: Through the Dumble-door.

Naughty girls
Why is Santa Claus so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.

Bug in soup
A boy asks his father, "Dad, are bugs good to eat?" "That's disgusting. Don't talk about things like that over dinner," the dad replies. After dinner the father asks, "Now, son, what did you want to ask me?" "Oh, nothing," the boy says. "There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone."

Skeleton order
Q: What does a skeleton order at a restaurant? A: Spare ribs!