BORED CAT

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Metronome

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New jokes

Tampons
"Mom, where do tampons go?" "Where the babies come from, darling." "In the stork?"

Mexican sport
What is a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross-country.

Helium
I just read a book about Helium. It was so good that I can't put it down.

Google
Q: Is Google male or female? A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.

Envelope
Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? A: Envelope.

Christmas gift
A little kids sends a letter to Santa that says: "Dear Santa I want a brother for Christmas." Santa writes back, "Dear Timmy send me me your mommy."

Kangaroo
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.

How were people born
A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."