SLEEPING CAT

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Sleeping cat

#cat #animal #sleep #sleeping #lie #lying #bored #boring #tired #exhausted #annoyed #frustrated #depressed #orange #animals #activities #emotion #feature #color

New jokes

Tiger Woods vs Santa
Q: What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? A: Santa stops after three hos.

Witches
Q: Why did the witches' team lose the baseball game? A: Their bats flew away.

Pregnant woman
A 3 years old boy sits near a pregnant woman. Boy: Why do you look so fat? Pregnant woman: I have a baby inside me. Boy: Is it a good baby? Pregnant woman: Yes, it is a very good baby. Boy: Then why did you eat it?!

Cats exercise
Teacher: "If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?" Johnny: "Seven." Teacher: "No, listen carefully... If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?" Johnny: "Seven." Teacher: "Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you two apples, and another two apples and another two, how many would you have?" Johnny: "Six." Teacher: "Good. Now if I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?" Johnny: "Seven!" Teacher: "Johnny, where in the heck do you get seven from?!" Johnny: "Because I've already got a freaking cat!"

Snowman and vampire
What do get if you cross a Snowman with a Vampire? Frostbite.

Helium
I just read a book about Helium. It was so good that I can't put it down.

Naughty girls
Why is Santa Claus so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.

Man vs priest
Man to his priest: “Yesterday I sinned with an 18 year old girl.” The priest: “Squeeze 18 lemons and drink the juice all at once.” Man: “And that frees me from my sin?” Priest: “No, but it frees your face from that dirty grin.