Q: What is a mummy's favorite type of music? A: Wrap!
Guys on the roof
On the roof of a very tall building are four men; one is asian, one is mexican, one is black, and the last one is white. The asian walks to the ledge and says, "This is for all my people" and jumps off the roof. Next, the mexican walks to the ledge and also says, "This is for all my people" and then he jumps off the roof. Next is the black guy's turn. The black guy walks to the ledge and says, "This is for all my people" and then throws the white guy off the roof.
Value of pi
Teacher: What is the value of Pi? Student: Depending on what pie. Usually is $12.99
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.
Q: Why did the witches' team lose the baseball game? A: Their bats flew away.
Teacher and students
Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?" Student: "Meat!" Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?" Student: "Bacon!" Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?" Student: "Homework!"
Your momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."
Q: What does a skeleton order at a restaurant? A: Spare ribs!