BIG FAT CAT

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New jokes

Stupid momma
Your momma is so stupid when I told her Christmas is right around the corner she went looking for it.

Claustrophobic
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.

Momma
Your momma is so short, when she went to meet Santa he said, "Go back to work!"

A BLONDE & HER THERMOS
A blonde notices that her coworker has a thermos, so she asks him what it's for. He responds, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold." The blonde immediately buys one for herself. The next day, she goes to work and proudly displays it. Her coworker asks, "What do you have in it?" She replies, "Soup and ice cream."

Athletes
If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get? Missletoe!

Microwave oven
Yo momma is so stupid when an intruder broke into her house, she ran downstairs, dialed 9-1-1 on the microwave, and couldn't find the "CALL" button.

Skeleton
Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road? A: To get to the body shop.

Cheap hotels
Q: What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common? A: No ballroom.