Santa with bears
A little kid was out trick-or-treating on Halloween dressed as a pirate. He rang a house's doorbell and the door was opened by a lady. "Oh, how cute! A little pirate! And where are your buccaneers?" she asked. The boy replied, "Under my buckin' hat."
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs.
How were people born
A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."
Ghosts as cheerleaders
Q: Why are ghosts such good cheerleaders? A: Because they have a lot of spirit!
Pee in the shower
Q: Who cares if you pee in the shower? A: The bride and all her guests, apparently.
Why is Santa Claus so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
How is Christmas like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.
If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get? Missletoe!