Your momma is so stupid when I told her Christmas is right around the corner she went looking for it.
Q: What does a skeleton order at a restaurant? A: Spare ribs!
A little kid was out trick-or-treating on Halloween dressed as a pirate. He rang a house's doorbell and the door was opened by a lady. "Oh, how cute! A little pirate! And where are your buccaneers?" she asked. The boy replied, "Under my buckin' hat."
Man vs priest
Man to his priest: “Yesterday I sinned with an 18 year old girl.” The priest: “Squeeze 18 lemons and drink the juice all at once.” Man: “And that frees me from my sin?” Priest: “No, but it frees your face from that dirty grin.
Q: What is a mummy's favorite type of music? A: Wrap!
Value of pi
Teacher: What is the value of Pi? Student: Depending on what pie. Usually is $12.99
Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road? A: To get to the body shop.
Snowman and vampire
What do get if you cross a Snowman with a Vampire? Frostbite.