Cute cat is sleeping
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs.
Pee in the shower
Q: Who cares if you pee in the shower? A: The bride and all her guests, apparently.
Your momma is so stupid when I told her Christmas is right around the corner she went looking for it.
I just read a book about Helium. It was so good that I can't put it down.
Ghosts as cheerleaders
Q: Why are ghosts such good cheerleaders? A: Because they have a lot of spirit!
What is a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross-country.
Q: Can February march? A: No, but April may.
How is Christmas like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.