GRANDPA PLAYS GOLF

Grandpa plays golf

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New jokes

Beans
A teacher asked her students to use the word "beans" in a sentence. "My father grows beans," said one girl. "My mother cooks beans," said a boy. A third student spoke up, "We are all human beans."

Value of pi
Teacher: What is the value of Pi? Student: Depending on what pie. Usually is $12.99

Snowman and vampire
What do get if you cross a Snowman with a Vampire? Frostbite.

Momma
Your momma is so short, when she went to meet Santa he said, "Go back to work!"

Teacher and students
Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?" Student: "Meat!" Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?" Student: "Bacon!" Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?" Student: "Homework!"

Ghosts as cheerleaders
Q: Why are ghosts such good cheerleaders? A: Because they have a lot of spirit!

Google
Q: Is Google male or female? A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.

Tampons
"Mom, where do tampons go?" "Where the babies come from, darling." "In the stork?"