Grandpa plays golf
Value of pi
Teacher: What is the value of Pi? Student: Depending on what pie. Usually is $12.99
If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get? Missletoe!
"Mom, where do tampons go?" "Where the babies come from, darling." "In the stork?"
Boss and employee
Boss: Do you believe in life after death? Employee: No, because there is no proof of it. Boss: Well there is now ! Employee: How? Boss: When you left yesterday saying that you have to go to your uncle's funeral, your uncle came here looking for you after you left
Reporter vs man
Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?" Man: "Yes!" Reporter: "Name?" Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim." Reporter: "Sex?" Man: "Three to five times a week." Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?" Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel." Reporter: "Holy cow!" Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general." Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?" Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style." Reporter: "Oh dear!" Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."
Yo momma's so stupid, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.
A teacher asked her students to use the word "beans" in a sentence. "My father grows beans," said one girl. "My mother cooks beans," said a boy. A third student spoke up, "We are all human beans."
Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? A: Envelope.