Kitty cat wants to play
How is Christmas like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.
Q: Why do hamburgers go to the gym A: To get better buns!
Q: Why did Adele cross the road? A: To sing, "Hello from the other side!"
Tiger Woods vs Santa
Q: What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? A: Santa stops after three hos.
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs.
Tears in eyes
My friend told me he gets tears in his eyes whenever his partner makes tender love to him. At first I thought he was an overemotional sissy, then I remembered: He's still in prison
I just read a book about Helium. It was so good that I can't put it down.
If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get? Missletoe!