A guy believed that his wife is cheating on him, so he hired a private investigator. The cheapest he could find was a Chinese man. This was the Chinese PI's report about what he found: "Most honorable, sir. You leave house. I watch house. He come to house. I watch. He and she leave house. I follow. He and she go in hotel. I climb tree. I look in window. He kiss she. He strip she. She strip he. He play with she. She play with he. I play with me. I fall out tree. I not see. No fee. Cheng Lee."
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."
Teacher and students
Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?" Student: "Meat!" Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?" Student: "Bacon!" Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?" Student: "Homework!"
Q: Why is Santa Claus' sack so big? A: He only comes once a year.
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.
Your momma is so short, when she went to meet Santa he said, "Go back to work!"
"Mom, where do tampons go?" "Where the babies come from, darling." "In the stork?"
Don´t be racist
Don't be racist; racism is a crime; and crime is for black people.