Swimming suit for winter
Pee in the shower
Q: Who cares if you pee in the shower? A: The bride and all her guests, apparently.
If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get? Missletoe!
How is Christmas like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.
A little kids sends a letter to Santa that says: "Dear Santa I want a brother for Christmas." Santa writes back, "Dear Timmy send me me your mommy."
Your momma is so short, when she went to meet Santa he said, "Go back to work!"
Q: What is a mummy's favorite type of music? A: Wrap!
Where do babies come from
A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?” The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, “Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug, and have sex.” The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, “That means the daddy puts his penis in the mommy’s vagina. That’s how you get a baby, honey.” The child seems to comprehend. “Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had daddy’s penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?” “Jewelry, my dear. Jewelry.”
Why isn't the turkey hungry at Thanksgiving? Because he's already stuffed!