HAPPY FAMILY

1051.jpg

Happy family with baby

#like #kid #child #funny #woman #man #baby #fail #love #mum #parents #dad #feature #people #others #emotion

New jokes

MY WIFE AND I ARE REALLY IN SYNC
If my wife has too much to drink at a party, starts yapping a little too much, I don't have to say anything... three little leg squeezes, she knows that means 'Put a sock in it, drunkie, time for you to wrap it up.' Somebody didn't have dinner like I suggested, now you're spouting off at the mouth divulging all the family secrets. You need to pipe down or we've got to f**king leave.

Pee in the shower
Q: Who cares if you pee in the shower? A: The bride and all her guests, apparently.

Christmas
How is Christmas like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.

Turkey
Why isn't the turkey hungry at Thanksgiving? Because he's already stuffed!

Woman in the mirror
A woman looks in the mirror and says I look fat and then asks her husband to give her a compliment he says ok you have perfect eye sight.

School
Mother: "How was school today, Patrick?" Patrick: "It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!" Mother: "Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?" Patrick: "What school?"

Athletes
If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get? Missletoe!

Witches
Q: Why did the witches' team lose the baseball game? A: Their bats flew away.