NO PISSING

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No pissing

#funny #ball #man #boy #red #dangerous #feature #sports #people #color

New jokes

LIGHTS OFF
I'm so in love with my boyfriend right now. Everything is perfect, but we want totally different things in bed. Like, he's always turning the lights on, you know what I'm saying? And I shut them off, and he turns them on, and the other day, he's like, 'Amy, why are you so shy? You know, you have a beautiful body.' I was like, 'Oh my god, you're so cute. You think I don't want you to see me?'

Woman in the mirror
A woman looks in the mirror and says I look fat and then asks her husband to give her a compliment he says ok you have perfect eye sight.

Mexican sport
What is a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross-country.

Harry Potter
Q: How does Albus get into Hogwarts? A: Through the Dumble-door.

Santas sack
Q: Why is Santa Claus' sack so big? A: He only comes once a year.

Elves in school
Q: What do elves learn in school? Q: What do elves learn in school? A: The Elfabet.

Microwave oven
Yo momma is so stupid when an intruder broke into her house, she ran downstairs, dialed 9-1-1 on the microwave, and couldn't find the "CALL" button.

Claustrophobic
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.