BABY RELAXING ON THE BEACH

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Baby relaxing on the beach

#kid #child #funny #sleep #sleeping #lie #lying #tired #exhausted #baby #lazy #glasses #relax #beach #people #feature #activities #emotion #things #nature

New jokes

Witches
Q: Why did the witches' team lose the baseball game? A: Their bats flew away.

MY WIFE AND I ARE REALLY IN SYNC
If my wife has too much to drink at a party, starts yapping a little too much, I don't have to say anything... three little leg squeezes, she knows that means 'Put a sock in it, drunkie, time for you to wrap it up.' Somebody didn't have dinner like I suggested, now you're spouting off at the mouth divulging all the family secrets. You need to pipe down or we've got to f**king leave.

School
Mother: "How was school today, Patrick?" Patrick: "It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!" Mother: "Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?" Patrick: "What school?"

Value of pi
Teacher: What is the value of Pi? Student: Depending on what pie. Usually is $12.99

Snowman and vampire
What do get if you cross a Snowman with a Vampire? Frostbite.

Christmas gift
A little kids sends a letter to Santa that says: "Dear Santa I want a brother for Christmas." Santa writes back, "Dear Timmy send me me your mommy."

Claustrophobic
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.

Trick-or-treating
A little kid was out trick-or-treating on Halloween dressed as a pirate. He rang a house's doorbell and the door was opened by a lady. "Oh, how cute! A little pirate! And where are your buccaneers?" she asked. The boy replied, "Under my buckin' hat."