Sausage in the car
#funny #car #meal #food #delicious #sausage #feature #vehicle #food
Man vs priest
Man to his priest: “Yesterday I sinned with an 18 year old girl.”
The priest: “Squeeze 18 lemons and drink the juice all at once.”
Man: “And that frees me from my sin?”
Priest: “No, but it frees your face from that dirty grin.
Pregnant woman
A 3 years old boy sits near a pregnant woman.
Boy: Why do you look so fat?
Pregnant woman: I have a baby inside me.
Boy: Is it a good baby?
Pregnant woman: Yes, it is a very good baby.
Boy: Then why did you eat it?!
Ghosts as liars
Q: Why are ghosts bad liars? A: You can see right through them.
Chinese girl
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."
Mexican sport
What is a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross-country.
50 cent
Yo momma's so stupid, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.
School
Mother: "How was school today, Patrick?"
Patrick: "It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!"
Mother: "Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?"
Patrick: "What school?"
Athletes
If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get? Missletoe!