MONEY EVERYWHERE

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Money in living room

#money #funny #boss #cool #things #feature #people

New jokes

MY WIFE AND I ARE REALLY IN SYNC
If my wife has too much to drink at a party, starts yapping a little too much, I don't have to say anything... three little leg squeezes, she knows that means 'Put a sock in it, drunkie, time for you to wrap it up.' Somebody didn't have dinner like I suggested, now you're spouting off at the mouth divulging all the family secrets. You need to pipe down or we've got to f**king leave.

Witches
Q: Why did the witches' team lose the baseball game? A: Their bats flew away.

Christmas
How is Christmas like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.

Turkey
Why isn't the turkey hungry at Thanksgiving? Because he's already stuffed!

Pee in the shower
Q: Who cares if you pee in the shower? A: The bride and all her guests, apparently.

Christmas gift
A little kids sends a letter to Santa that says: "Dear Santa I want a brother for Christmas." Santa writes back, "Dear Timmy send me me your mommy."

Claustrophobic
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.

Kids conversation
Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin." Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night ." Kid 1: "As if." Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister." Kid 1: "I don't have a sister." Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."