NO EATING

1398.jpg

Fridge and microwave are locked

#funny #eat #eating #hungry #meal #food #feature #food

New jokes

Tears in eyes
My friend told me he gets tears in his eyes whenever his partner makes tender love to him. At first I thought he was an overemotional sissy, then I remembered: He's still in prison

Mummy┬┤s music
Q: What is a mummy's favorite type of music? A: Wrap!

Helium
I just read a book about Helium. It was so good that I can't put it down.

Naughty girls
Why is Santa Claus so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.

Chinese girl
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."

Santas sack
Q: Why is Santa Claus' sack so big? A: He only comes once a year.

Reporter vs man
Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?" Man: "Yes!" Reporter: "Name?" Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim." Reporter: "Sex?" Man: "Three to five times a week." Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?" Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel." Reporter: "Holy cow!" Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general." Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?" Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style." Reporter: "Oh dear!" Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."

Cheap hotels
Q: What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common? A: No ballroom.