NEVER OBSOLETE

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Never obsolete

#white #funny #fail #computer #pC #green #color #feature #others #things

New jokes

Stupid momma
Your momma is so stupid when I told her Christmas is right around the corner she went looking for it.

Envelope
Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? A: Envelope.

Birthday
Why did I get divorced? Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn't wish me a happy birthday. My parents forgot and so did my kids. I went to work and even my colleagues didn't wish me a happy birthday. As I entered my office, my secretary said, "Happy birthday, boss!" I felt so special. She asked me out for lunch. After lunch, she invited me to her apartment. We went there and she said, "Do you mind if I go into the bedroom for a minute?" "Okay," I said. She came out 5 minutes later with a birthday cake, my wife, my parents, my kids, my friends, & my colleagues all yelling, "SURPRISE!!!" while I was waiting on the sofa... naked.

Witches
Q: Why did the witches' team lose the baseball game? A: Their bats flew away.

Chinese girl
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."

Trick-or-treating
A little kid was out trick-or-treating on Halloween dressed as a pirate. He rang a house's doorbell and the door was opened by a lady. "Oh, how cute! A little pirate! And where are your buccaneers?" she asked. The boy replied, "Under my buckin' hat."

Claustrophobic
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.

Harry Potter
Q: How does Albus get into Hogwarts? A: Through the Dumble-door.