KAYAK IN THE ICE

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Kayak in the ice

#funny #snow #river #man #sport #sports #fail #winter #ice #ship #feature #winter #nature #people #sports #others #vehicle

New jokes

Months
Q: Can February march? A: No, but April may.

Birthday
Why did I get divorced? Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn't wish me a happy birthday. My parents forgot and so did my kids. I went to work and even my colleagues didn't wish me a happy birthday. As I entered my office, my secretary said, "Happy birthday, boss!" I felt so special. She asked me out for lunch. After lunch, she invited me to her apartment. We went there and she said, "Do you mind if I go into the bedroom for a minute?" "Okay," I said. She came out 5 minutes later with a birthday cake, my wife, my parents, my kids, my friends, & my colleagues all yelling, "SURPRISE!!!" while I was waiting on the sofa... naked.

Athletes
If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get? Missletoe!

Mummy┬┤s music
Q: What is a mummy's favorite type of music? A: Wrap!

Teacher and students
Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?" Student: "Meat!" Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?" Student: "Bacon!" Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?" Student: "Homework!"

Stupid momma
Your momma is so stupid when I told her Christmas is right around the corner she went looking for it.

Elves in school
Q: What do elves learn in school? Q: What do elves learn in school? A: The Elfabet.

Woman in the mirror
A woman looks in the mirror and says I look fat and then asks her husband to give her a compliment he says ok you have perfect eye sight.