Your momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."
Q: Why did Adele cross the road? A: To sing, "Hello from the other side!"
I'm so in love with my boyfriend right now. Everything is perfect, but we want totally different things in bed. Like, he's always turning the lights on, you know what I'm saying? And I shut them off, and he turns them on, and the other day, he's like, 'Amy, why are you so shy? You know, you have a beautiful body.' I was like, 'Oh my god, you're so cute. You think I don't want you to see me?'
Snowman and vampire
What do get if you cross a Snowman with a Vampire? Frostbite.
Q: What is a mummy's favorite type of music? A: Wrap!
Q: What does a skeleton order at a restaurant? A: Spare ribs!
Your momma is so stupid when I told her Christmas is right around the corner she went looking for it.
Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road? A: To get to the body shop.