If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get? Missletoe!
Mother: "How was school today, Patrick?" Patrick: "It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!" Mother: "Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?" Patrick: "What school?"
What is a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross-country.
Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road? A: To get to the body shop.
How were people born
A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."
Your momma is so stupid when I told her Christmas is right around the corner she went looking for it.
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.
Q: What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common? A: No ballroom.