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New jokes

Elves in school
Q: What do elves learn in school? Q: What do elves learn in school? A: The Elfabet.

Kangaroo
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.

Mummy´s music
Q: What is a mummy's favorite type of music? A: Wrap!

Value of pi
Teacher: What is the value of Pi? Student: Depending on what pie. Usually is $12.99

Christmas gift
A little kids sends a letter to Santa that says: "Dear Santa I want a brother for Christmas." Santa writes back, "Dear Timmy send me me your mommy."

Private investigator
A guy believed that his wife is cheating on him, so he hired a private investigator. The cheapest he could find was a Chinese man. This was the Chinese PI's report about what he found: "Most honorable, sir. You leave house. I watch house. He come to house. I watch. He and she leave house. I follow. He and she go in hotel. I climb tree. I look in window. He kiss she. He strip she. She strip he. He play with she. She play with he. I play with me. I fall out tree. I not see. No fee. Cheng Lee."

Christmas
How is Christmas like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.

Stupid momma
Your momma is so stupid when I told her Christmas is right around the corner she went looking for it.