Your momma is so short, when she went to meet Santa he said, "Go back to work!"
Q: Why is Santa Claus' sack so big? A: He only comes once a year.
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs.
Elves in school
Q: What do elves learn in school? Q: What do elves learn in school? A: The Elfabet.
Man vs priest
Man to his priest: “Yesterday I sinned with an 18 year old girl.” The priest: “Squeeze 18 lemons and drink the juice all at once.” Man: “And that frees me from my sin?” Priest: “No, but it frees your face from that dirty grin.
Your momma is so stupid when I told her Christmas is right around the corner she went looking for it.
Bug in soup
A boy asks his father, "Dad, are bugs good to eat?" "That's disgusting. Don't talk about things like that over dinner," the dad replies. After dinner the father asks, "Now, son, what did you want to ask me?" "Oh, nothing," the boy says. "There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone."
Tears in eyes
My friend told me he gets tears in his eyes whenever his partner makes tender love to him. At first I thought he was an overemotional sissy, then I remembered: He's still in prison