What is a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross-country.
Lost in desert
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family. The blonde said, "Awwww, I wish my friends were here."
Pee in the shower
Q: Who cares if you pee in the shower? A: The bride and all her guests, apparently.
Your momma is so short, when she went to meet Santa he said, "Go back to work!"
Q: Can February march? A: No, but April may.
Yo momma's so stupid, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs.
How is Christmas like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.