Spring is here
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs.
Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin." Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night ." Kid 1: "As if." Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister." Kid 1: "I don't have a sister." Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."
How were people born
A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."
Q: Why is Santa Claus' sack so big? A: He only comes once a year.
Q: Can February march? A: No, but April may.
If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get? Missletoe!
Q: How does Albus get into Hogwarts? A: Through the Dumble-door.
Q: Is Google male or female? A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.