IN CASE OF WAR BREAK GLASS

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In case of war break glass

#white #funny #bird #red #pigeon #color #feature #animals

New jokes

A BLONDE & HER THERMOS
A blonde notices that her coworker has a thermos, so she asks him what it's for. He responds, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold." The blonde immediately buys one for herself. The next day, she goes to work and proudly displays it. Her coworker asks, "What do you have in it?" She replies, "Soup and ice cream."

Skeleton
Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road? A: To get to the body shop.

Envelope
Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? A: Envelope.

Mexican sport
What is a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross-country.

Stupid momma
Your momma is so stupid when I told her Christmas is right around the corner she went looking for it.

Cats exercise
Teacher: "If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?" Johnny: "Seven." Teacher: "No, listen carefully... If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?" Johnny: "Seven." Teacher: "Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you two apples, and another two apples and another two, how many would you have?" Johnny: "Six." Teacher: "Good. Now if I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?" Johnny: "Seven!" Teacher: "Johnny, where in the heck do you get seven from?!" Johnny: "Because I've already got a freaking cat!"

Christmas
How is Christmas like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.

50 cent
Yo momma's so stupid, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.