In case of war break glass
Q: What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common? A: No ballroom.
A little kid was out trick-or-treating on Halloween dressed as a pirate. He rang a house's doorbell and the door was opened by a lady. "Oh, how cute! A little pirate! And where are your buccaneers?" she asked. The boy replied, "Under my buckin' hat."
Ghosts as cheerleaders
Q: Why are ghosts such good cheerleaders? A: Because they have a lot of spirit!
Your momma is so stupid when I told her Christmas is right around the corner she went looking for it.
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.
Ghosts as liars
Q: Why are ghosts bad liars? A: You can see right through them.
What is a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross-country.
A 3 years old boy sits near a pregnant woman. Boy: Why do you look so fat? Pregnant woman: I have a baby inside me. Boy: Is it a good baby? Pregnant woman: Yes, it is a very good baby. Boy: Then why did you eat it?!