Men vs women
Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road? A: To get to the body shop.
Value of pi
Teacher: What is the value of Pi? Student: Depending on what pie. Usually is $12.99
A 3 years old boy sits near a pregnant woman. Boy: Why do you look so fat? Pregnant woman: I have a baby inside me. Boy: Is it a good baby? Pregnant woman: Yes, it is a very good baby. Boy: Then why did you eat it?!
Tiger Woods vs Santa
Q: What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? A: Santa stops after three hos.
Q: Is Google male or female? A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.
Q: What is a mummy's favorite type of music? A: Wrap!
Your momma is so stupid when I told her Christmas is right around the corner she went looking for it.
Q: Why is Santa Claus' sack so big? A: He only comes once a year.