Parrot vs grenade
Q: Why did Adele cross the road? A: To sing, "Hello from the other side!"
If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get? Missletoe!
Q: How does Albus get into Hogwarts? A: Through the Dumble-door.
Ghosts as liars
Q: Why are ghosts bad liars? A: You can see right through them.
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.
A little kids sends a letter to Santa that says: "Dear Santa I want a brother for Christmas." Santa writes back, "Dear Timmy send me me your mommy."
Q: Can February march? A: No, but April may.
Q: Why is Santa Claus' sack so big? A: He only comes once a year.