Parrot vs grenade
Your momma is so short, when she went to meet Santa he said, "Go back to work!"
Q: Can February march? A: No, but April may.
Tiger Woods vs Santa
Q: What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? A: Santa stops after three hos.
A little kids sends a letter to Santa that says: "Dear Santa I want a brother for Christmas." Santa writes back, "Dear Timmy send me me your mommy."
Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? A: Envelope.
Your momma is so stupid when I told her Christmas is right around the corner she went looking for it.
Q: What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common? A: No ballroom.
Ghosts as cheerleaders
Q: Why are ghosts such good cheerleaders? A: Because they have a lot of spirit!