Kids playing lego
How is Christmas like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.
Value of pi
Teacher: What is the value of Pi? Student: Depending on what pie. Usually is $12.99
Don´t be racist
Don't be racist; racism is a crime; and crime is for black people.
I just read a book about Helium. It was so good that I can't put it down.
Elves in school
Q: What do elves learn in school? Q: What do elves learn in school? A: The Elfabet.
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."
Q: Why do hamburgers go to the gym A: To get better buns!
Woman in the mirror
A woman looks in the mirror and says I look fat and then asks her husband to give her a compliment he says ok you have perfect eye sight.