Does the boss notice something
Woman in the mirror
A woman looks in the mirror and says I look fat and then asks her husband to give her a compliment he says ok you have perfect eye sight.
Q: Why do hamburgers go to the gym A: To get better buns!
If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get? Missletoe!
Lost in desert
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family. The blonde said, "Awwww, I wish my friends were here."
Teacher and students
Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?" Student: "Meat!" Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?" Student: "Bacon!" Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?" Student: "Homework!"
Why is Santa Claus so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
Q: What is a mummy's favorite type of music? A: Wrap!
Q: Why did Adele cross the road? A: To sing, "Hello from the other side!"