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New jokes

Chinese girl
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."

Stupid momma
Your momma is so stupid when I told her Christmas is right around the corner she went looking for it.

Tiger Woods vs Santa
Q: What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? A: Santa stops after three hos.

Christmas gift
A little kids sends a letter to Santa that says: "Dear Santa I want a brother for Christmas." Santa writes back, "Dear Timmy send me me your mommy."

Hamburgers
Q: Why do hamburgers go to the gym A: To get better buns!

Turkey
Why isn't the turkey hungry at Thanksgiving? Because he's already stuffed!

Helium
I just read a book about Helium. It was so good that I can't put it down.

Snowman and vampire
What do get if you cross a Snowman with a Vampire? Frostbite.