DOG AND KITTY CATS

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Dog and kitty cats

#cat #cute #animal #sweet #kittens #funny #sleep #sleeping #cat and dog #dog #boy #teenager #take a photo #animals #feature #activities #people

New jokes

Beans
A teacher asked her students to use the word "beans" in a sentence. "My father grows beans," said one girl. "My mother cooks beans," said a boy. A third student spoke up, "We are all human beans."

Pee in the shower
Q: Who cares if you pee in the shower? A: The bride and all her guests, apparently.

Elves in school
Q: What do elves learn in school? Q: What do elves learn in school? A: The Elfabet.

Reporter vs man
Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?" Man: "Yes!" Reporter: "Name?" Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim." Reporter: "Sex?" Man: "Three to five times a week." Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?" Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel." Reporter: "Holy cow!" Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general." Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?" Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style." Reporter: "Oh dear!" Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."

Man vs priest
Man to his priest: “Yesterday I sinned with an 18 year old girl.” The priest: “Squeeze 18 lemons and drink the juice all at once.” Man: “And that frees me from my sin?” Priest: “No, but it frees your face from that dirty grin.

Tampons
"Mom, where do tampons go?" "Where the babies come from, darling." "In the stork?"

Cheap hotels
Q: What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common? A: No ballroom.

School
Mother: "How was school today, Patrick?" Patrick: "It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!" Mother: "Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?" Patrick: "What school?"