Need a wood
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.
A BLONDE & HER THERMOS
A blonde notices that her coworker has a thermos, so she asks him what it's for. He responds, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold." The blonde immediately buys one for herself. The next day, she goes to work and proudly displays it. Her coworker asks, "What do you have in it?" She replies, "Soup and ice cream."
Man vs priest
Man to his priest: “Yesterday I sinned with an 18 year old girl.” The priest: “Squeeze 18 lemons and drink the juice all at once.” Man: “And that frees me from my sin?” Priest: “No, but it frees your face from that dirty grin.
What is a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross-country.
Ghosts as liars
Q: Why are ghosts bad liars? A: You can see right through them.
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs.
Don´t be racist
Don't be racist; racism is a crime; and crime is for black people.