Woman in the mirror
A woman looks in the mirror and says I look fat and then asks her husband to give her a compliment he says ok you have perfect eye sight.
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.
What is a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross-country.
Ghosts as liars
Q: Why are ghosts bad liars? A: You can see right through them.
Tiger Woods vs Santa
Q: What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? A: Santa stops after three hos.
If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get? Missletoe!
Your momma is so short, when she went to meet Santa he said, "Go back to work!"