TILES AND RED SALAME

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Tiles and red salame

#funny #fail #red #black #salame #feature #others #color #food

New jokes

Christmas
How is Christmas like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.

Christmas gift
A little kids sends a letter to Santa that says: "Dear Santa I want a brother for Christmas." Santa writes back, "Dear Timmy send me me your mommy."

50 cent
Yo momma's so stupid, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.

MY WIFE AND I ARE REALLY IN SYNC
If my wife has too much to drink at a party, starts yapping a little too much, I don't have to say anything... three little leg squeezes, she knows that means 'Put a sock in it, drunkie, time for you to wrap it up.' Somebody didn't have dinner like I suggested, now you're spouting off at the mouth divulging all the family secrets. You need to pipe down or we've got to f**king leave.

Kids conversation
Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin." Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night ." Kid 1: "As if." Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister." Kid 1: "I don't have a sister." Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."

Skeleton
Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road? A: To get to the body shop.

Teacher and students
Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?" Student: "Meat!" Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?" Student: "Bacon!" Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?" Student: "Homework!"

Harry Potter
Q: How does Albus get into Hogwarts? A: Through the Dumble-door.