Swiss knife vs french knife
Yo momma's so stupid, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.
Q: What is a mummy's favorite type of music? A: Wrap!
A little kid was out trick-or-treating on Halloween dressed as a pirate. He rang a house's doorbell and the door was opened by a lady. "Oh, how cute! A little pirate! And where are your buccaneers?" she asked. The boy replied, "Under my buckin' hat."
Q: What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common? A: No ballroom.
Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? A: Envelope.
Your momma is so short, when she went to meet Santa he said, "Go back to work!"
What is a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross-country.
Why is Santa Claus so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.