Alone on holiday
Man vs priest
Man to his priest: “Yesterday I sinned with an 18 year old girl.” The priest: “Squeeze 18 lemons and drink the juice all at once.” Man: “And that frees me from my sin?” Priest: “No, but it frees your face from that dirty grin.
Q: Why did the witches' team lose the baseball game? A: Their bats flew away.
Bug in soup
A boy asks his father, "Dad, are bugs good to eat?" "That's disgusting. Don't talk about things like that over dinner," the dad replies. After dinner the father asks, "Now, son, what did you want to ask me?" "Oh, nothing," the boy says. "There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone."
Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? A: Envelope.
Don´t be racist
Don't be racist; racism is a crime; and crime is for black people.
Your momma is so short, when she went to meet Santa he said, "Go back to work!"
How is Christmas like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.
Q: Why is Santa Claus' sack so big? A: He only comes once a year.