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New jokes

Envelope
Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? A: Envelope.

Skeleton order
Q: What does a skeleton order at a restaurant? A: Spare ribs!

Christmas
How is Christmas like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.

DonĀ“t be racist
Don't be racist; racism is a crime; and crime is for black people.

Boss and employee
Boss: Do you believe in life after death? Employee: No, because there is no proof of it. Boss: Well there is now ! Employee: How? Boss: When you left yesterday saying that you have to go to your uncle's funeral, your uncle came here looking for you after you left

LIGHTS OFF
I'm so in love with my boyfriend right now. Everything is perfect, but we want totally different things in bed. Like, he's always turning the lights on, you know what I'm saying? And I shut them off, and he turns them on, and the other day, he's like, 'Amy, why are you so shy? You know, you have a beautiful body.' I was like, 'Oh my god, you're so cute. You think I don't want you to see me?'

Cheap hotels
Q: What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common? A: No ballroom.

Chinese girl
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."