Boss and employee
Boss: Do you believe in life after death? Employee: No, because there is no proof of it. Boss: Well there is now ! Employee: How? Boss: When you left yesterday saying that you have to go to your uncle's funeral, your uncle came here looking for you after you left
Your momma is so short, when she went to meet Santa he said, "Go back to work!"
How is Christmas like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.
Why isn't the turkey hungry at Thanksgiving? Because he's already stuffed!
Q: Is Google male or female? A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.
Why is Santa Claus so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
Your momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."