Scary soup
#funny #eat #eating #hungry #crazy #fail #meal #food #delicious #scary #omg #wtf #feature #food #others #reactions
Tampons
"Mom, where do tampons go?"
"Where the babies come from, darling."
"In the stork?"
Snowman snowwoman
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
Snowballs.
Months
Q: Can February march? A: No, but April may.
Microwave oven
Yo momma is so stupid when an intruder broke into her house, she ran downstairs, dialed 9-1-1 on the microwave, and couldn't find the "CALL" button.
Kids conversation
Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin."
Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night ."
Kid 1: "As if."
Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister."
Kid 1: "I don't have a sister."
Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."
Trick-or-treating
A little kid was out trick-or-treating on Halloween dressed as a pirate. He rang a house's doorbell and the door was opened by a lady. "Oh, how cute! A little pirate! And where are your buccaneers?" she asked. The boy replied, "Under my buckin' hat."
Man vs priest
Man to his priest: “Yesterday I sinned with an 18 year old girl.”
The priest: “Squeeze 18 lemons and drink the juice all at once.”
Man: “And that frees me from my sin?”
Priest: “No, but it frees your face from that dirty grin.
Snowman and vampire
What do get if you cross a Snowman with a Vampire? Frostbite.