Computer vs tablet
Q: Why did the witches' team lose the baseball game? A: Their bats flew away.
Q: Why did Adele cross the road? A: To sing, "Hello from the other side!"
Yo momma's so stupid, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.
A little kid was out trick-or-treating on Halloween dressed as a pirate. He rang a house's doorbell and the door was opened by a lady. "Oh, how cute! A little pirate! And where are your buccaneers?" she asked. The boy replied, "Under my buckin' hat."
Where do babies come from
A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?” The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, “Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug, and have sex.” The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, “That means the daddy puts his penis in the mommy’s vagina. That’s how you get a baby, honey.” The child seems to comprehend. “Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had daddy’s penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?” “Jewelry, my dear. Jewelry.”
Q: Is Google male or female? A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.
Your momma is so stupid when I told her Christmas is right around the corner she went looking for it.
Q: How does Albus get into Hogwarts? A: Through the Dumble-door.