Students have chrisrmas advent
#funny #fun #christmas #advent #winter #meal #food #wtf #feature #activities #winter #food #reactions
Athletes
If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get? Missletoe!
Unhappy day
There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for a half hour. Then a big trouble making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, & just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry." "No, it's not that," the man replies, wiping his tears, "This day is the worst of my life. First, I oversleep & I go in late to my office. My outraged boss fires me. When I leave the building to go to my car, I find out it was stolen. The police say they can do nothing. I get a cab to go home, & when I get out, I remember I left my wallet. The cab driver just drives away. I go inside my house where I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave my home, come to this bar, & just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up & drink my poison."
Tampons
"Mom, where do tampons go?"
"Where the babies come from, darling."
"In the stork?"
Envelope
Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it?
A: Envelope.
Harry Potter
Q: How does Albus get into Hogwarts? A: Through the Dumble-door.
Mummy´s music
Q: What is a mummy's favorite type of music? A: Wrap!
Chinese girl
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."
Woman in the mirror
A woman looks in the mirror and says I look fat and then asks her husband to give her a compliment he says ok you have perfect eye sight.