Q: Why do hamburgers go to the gym A: To get better buns!
Q: Why did the witches' team lose the baseball game? A: Their bats flew away.
A little kid was out trick-or-treating on Halloween dressed as a pirate. He rang a house's doorbell and the door was opened by a lady. "Oh, how cute! A little pirate! And where are your buccaneers?" she asked. The boy replied, "Under my buckin' hat."
Q: Is Google male or female? A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.
How were people born
A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."
Snowman and vampire
What do get if you cross a Snowman with a Vampire? Frostbite.
Value of pi
Teacher: What is the value of Pi? Student: Depending on what pie. Usually is $12.99
Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? A: Envelope.