Cat has lunch
Snowman and vampire
What do get if you cross a Snowman with a Vampire? Frostbite.
Tears in eyes
My friend told me he gets tears in his eyes whenever his partner makes tender love to him. At first I thought he was an overemotional sissy, then I remembered: He's still in prison
Yo momma's so stupid, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."
Q: Why did Adele cross the road? A: To sing, "Hello from the other side!"
What is a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross-country.
Ghosts as liars
Q: Why are ghosts bad liars? A: You can see right through them.
Q: How does Albus get into Hogwarts? A: Through the Dumble-door.